50 Funny Boat Names You’ll Love

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That’s A Fun One: A hot start for this awesome post of creative, hilarious (and maybe even brutally ironic) boat names. Pier Pressure gets to the best of us. This level of pier pressure might actually make us want to buy a boat. Maybe….

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Desperation: Maybe this person truly is desperate. Maybe they just have a great sense of humor. Or, maybe their friends just got tired of them bragging about their boat and they need some new ones.

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Where’s Unsinkable I?: Ok, we know that odds are this name is just a funny joke. But…what if there really was an unsinkable 1? Did it sink? Did they just upgrade to a bigger boat? We’re really not sure which answer we like the best.

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Reality and Illusion: Everyone who’s gone boat shopping has had a moment when they were confronted with reality. See, there’s always the boat you want, and the boat you can actually afford. The illusion…and the reality.

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At least They’re Being Honest: Give this boat owner credit for putting an honest name on the boat. This is, of course, exactly what a lot of boats really are, so it’s refreshing that this person is willing to just acknowledge it like this.

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Absolutely right: Look, boats are expensive. There’s the cost of fuel, the mooring costs, the maintenance costs, etc. If you don’t moor your boat you need a trailer and a truck that can pull it. There’s no way around it, having a boat costs a lot of money.

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Who Named This Boat?: We have to know- did the dad name it, or the kids? You’ve heard of golf widows; apparently boat orphans are a similar thing. Hopefully this name is at least half-joking, because it seems kinda cruel otherwise.

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Funny, and true: We promise we’re going to be very selective about the puns that appear on this page. We couldn’t resist including this one. Yeah it’s a bad (and lazy) pun, but the rest of the name is great. And very accurate, too.

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Lazy? Maybe, But We L0ve It Anyway: Maybe this person just gave up. But they did it with style, and quite possibly for the second time. And really, once you’ve named one boat “Whatever,” you really have to keep the name going in all your future boats.

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Knot 2 Great, Honestly: It was a good idea, and then the boat went down. So it’s actually pretty bad, all things considered. Poor boat. This photo makes us want to google, “how to recover a sunken boat” just to try to help these guys out. Yikes.

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lake mode

The Design Is What Really Makes It: Just painting the words “Lake Mode” on the boat would be disappointing. Adding the extra designs on there to make it look like a phone setting is what sells it.

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pension plan

What A Brilliant Move: Who needs a real pension, anyway? If you’ve got a boat, you’ve got all you need. Live on the boat. Use the boat for transportation so you don’t need a car. You can fish for your food. You’ll save a ton of money!

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I Swear To Guilty I’m Not God, Officer: We love it when police have a sense of humor. Yes, the have one of the most serious jobs in the world but when they get their brains together to make some people laugh, what a time.

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half price

Seems Like a Great Deal: We may be stretching the definition of “boat name” a bit here. It’s painted on the hull where the name goes, so we’re counting it. Besides, we don’t know if it is technically for sale.

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Pugboat: Like a tugboat, get it? There’s no amount of sadness that 8 pugs on the back of a boat titled “Pugboat” can’t cure. It’s science.

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So Gnarly: This beauty out of Port Canaveral, Florida titled, “Sonar” is the envy of the marina.

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Purple Rain: This fella is Plum Krazy! Or at least, that’s what his boat has to say about him. This slick-looking speed boat with twin Mercury engines is nearly as cool as it’s title. Nearly.

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XTASEA: Like ecstasy, get it? This has to be one of the more clever boat names we’ve ever seen. And it’s a beautiful looking vessel, to boot!

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Error 404: Error 404, water not found. Error 404, motor too small. Error 404, the boat is in the yard, not the marina. Error 404, the neighbors don’t think this is funny. But we do!

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Pumpkin: Why is this boat called, “Pumpkin”? We have no clue. But when you own a boat that is this sick, it really doesn’t matter what you call it!

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Ok, Boomer: Straight out of Minocqua, Wisconsin – this ballin’ wood grain boat is one for the ages. And just so everyone knows, yeah it’s a grown adult driving this thing!

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Reel Teaser: Sometimes those fish can be an absolute tease! But at least this guy gets some good laughs with his fishing boat even if the fish won’t bite.

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This Might Be A Warning: It could just be a bluff, but do you really want to take that chance? After all, a guy willing to name his boat “grumpy” is probably not someone you want to spend much time with anyway.

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Imagine Calling Your Boat “Who Cares”: Yeah it’s funny, but it’s also hard to imagine that there isn’t some honesty behind it. Maybe they just got so tired of trying to come up with a name that everyone liked that they just gave up, and “who cares” was born.

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no bananas

Don’t Jinx The Trip: There’s an old fishing superstition that bringing bananas on the boat is bad luck, and the fish won’t bite. It’s sort of an unwritten rule among fishermen. This name is the first time we’ve seen it made explicit like this.

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drug money

It’s Probably A Joke: Surely, no one would paint this name on their boat if it wasn’t a joke…right? That would just be too obvious. So, yes, we’re going to assume it’s a joke and laugh with them. It is, after all, a hilarious name for the boat.

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sound it out

Do You Get It Yet?: If you’re alone (or at least, around other adults and not at work) you can sound it out. Just read it out loud a couple of times until you get it. But seriously, don’t do that if you’re around kids or at work.

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pardoned

Might As Well Celebrate, Right?: If you’re going to celebrate something big like getting a pardon, we guess you might as well go big. Buying a boat and naming it “pardoned” seems like a pretty good way to go. But do you really want everyone to know that?

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zombies can't swim

Is This Even True?: Seriously, how would anyone know if zombies can swim or not? Seems like it’s pretty risky to base your entire apocalypse survival plan on conjecture like that, but to each his own.

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in a minute

This One Just Makes Us Smile: It’s not the funniest, or the most clever, but dammit, we like it. For just a second it sounds like you’re talking about some quirky small New England fishing village, and then it hits you, and you have to crack a smile.

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In A Meeting: Dear employers in Port Douglas, one of you has an employee (or probably a CEO) that is lying to you all when he says he’s “In A Meeting”…

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Seas The Day: This is the American maritime version of Carpe Diem. A hilarious boat title that we can all get behind, no?

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Mental Jail: Mental jail seems like a bit dramatic for someone who’s thoroughly enjoying the open waters, don’t you think?

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stinky fingers, funny boat names

This Is How You Keep The Ladies Away: Does your boat just attract too many women? Well, here’s the solution for you. Name your boat “ol stinky fingers” and we can pretty much guarantee that people will leave you alone.

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fat guy

Obviously, this isn’t a real boat…right?: We have no idea why this picture exists. We don’t know why someone felt the need to create it, why this man agreed to be in it, or what it’s for. But, hey! We promised you funny boat names, and we delivered.

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BYOB

Well, did you?:  No one likes a mooch, and that’s doubly true when beer is involved. This name is absolutely brilliant. It’s not just that it’s funny, it also establishes a standing house (boat?) rule that this boat is BYOB. Bring your own, or go without.

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no worries

Not Such a Good Name Anymore: At one time, this was probably a great boat name. Classic, and descriptive. Of course, now, it’s just wonderfully ironic. And it’s just great luck that the part with the name was the last part to go down.

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uh oh

Funny, or Brilliant?: It’s definitely good for a laugh, but also, what a smart name. If you can read it, you know to call for help, right? Kudos to the boat owner, they’ve combined humor and practicality.

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field office

“Sorry, He’s In The Field Office Today”: Just tell your secretary, or your family, that you’ll be spending the day in the field office. You won’t be lying; it’s 100% true. But you also won’t have to go into the office or use a vacation day. It’s a perfect solution.

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favorite mistake

What About The Children?: We get it, you love your boat. It’s a great boat. You enjoy countless hours of fun on the water in your boat. But what about your kids? Your family? Oh, wait, maybe you don’t think of them as mistakes….

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sotally tober

An Oldy, But A Goody: Ok sure it’s an obvious joke, and it’s a classic dad joke. We’ve all heard it. We’ve all told it. But it’s a classic for a reason: it doesn’t get old. And actually putting the words on your boat like this is such a strong dad move!

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empty pockets

If You Don’t Laugh, You’ll Cry: They say that the two happiest days of every boat owner’s life are the day he buys his boat and the day he sells it. Boats can be a real money pit, and if owners can’ laugh about it, they might just make them cry.

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harambe mcboatface

In a Few Years, No One Is Going To Understand This: Harambe is a reference to the famous gorilla that became a meme and internet joke for months. McBoatface comes from a public selection of research vessel names, and the most popular vote was “Boaty McBoatface.”

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in a meeting

“I’m Sorry, He’s In A Meeting.”: We think “Field Office” is slightly better, but “In A Meeting” is pretty good too. Really, anything you can do to make it easier to spend a day on the boat instead of a day at work is probably worth doing.

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titanic 2

Tempting Fate Is Always A Bad Idea: Come on, man, you named your boat Titanic II. Something like this was bound to happen. I’m sure the name started out really funny, but at this point, we’re laughing at them, not with them.

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just add wind

You Probably Need Some Fuel, Too: Calling your boat “Just Add Wind” seems like a good way to guarantee that you’ll find yourself out at sea with no wind at all.  Just to be safe make sure you’ve got some fuel for the motor!

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social distancing

The Best Way To Survive A Pandemic: You have to stay 6 feet apart from other people at all times, right? Seems like a boat is probably the best, most reliable way to do that. Put the words social distancing on the boat and you’re also making your priorities clear.

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her ring

No Way She Was Happy About This: We don’t know many- ok, ANY women who would be happy with an engagement boat instead of a ring. But we’ve been wrong before, so if she really liked it, well, all we can say is she’s probably a keeper.

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life is good

Life is Good…Until The Tide Goes Out: Maybe they’ll change the name to “Life WAS Good.” It seems picking a boat name that tempts fate is probably a really bad idea. If you’re enjoying these funny boat names then you’re going to love these funny auto billboards!

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clever name

It’s Literally  A Clever Name: This is right up there with “Who Cares” and “Whatever II.” The brilliance lies in it’s lack of effort, in the sheer audacity of actually naming the boat something so brazenly stupid. Bravo, boat owners. Bravo.

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kids inheritance

It’s Not As Bad As You Think: Sure, all the inheritance money is tied up in a boat. But on the bright side, the kids do get the boat. That’s a pretty great inheritance, right? If they don’t like the boat they can always sell it to recoup their loss.

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why they hate us

Yep. That’s True: Whether it’s just the fact that you own such a nice boat, or the fact that you named it “why they hate us,” this is an accurate description. It is, indeed, why they hate you.

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error 404

As Good An Explanation As Any:  Some people just aren’t good at fishing, but that’s an embarrassing thing to admit, right? We’re sure this name takes some of the sting out of getting skunked on a fishing trip.

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At Least It Was On a Boat: We’ve all been through forced family fun. But for most of us it took the form of awful board games or road trips. Forced family fun on a boat might actually be fun.

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she'll get over it

Will She, Though?: If you’ve got a wife or girlfriend, you should probably talk to them before buying a boat. And if you buy a boat they don’t want you to buy, you probably shouldn’t name it “she’ll get over it.” Godspeed, boat owner.

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But YOU Got The Boat: So what if there’s no bed? Who picks a house over a boat anyway? Not this guy, that’s for sure. We haven’t seen the house, of course, but he probably got the better end of that deal. Or, at least that’s what he’s telling himself.

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sign here

Who’s Signing, and For What?: Admittedly, this one leaves us with some questions. Who’s supposed to sign? Why are they signing? Did someone just forget to name the boat? We may never know.

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douchebag boat

A Perfect Fit – Funny Boat Names

How many times have we all wanted to go and paint this on someone else’s boat? Or car? Or house? Sometimes it just has to be done, and we can’t help but enjoy it. Even if the boaters are in on the joke, it’s a great one.

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bottom chaser

What Do YOU Think It Means? Of course there’s the obvious double entendre, but seriously, is the implication that the boat sinks a lot or that the owners want it to sink? Or that they think sinking is funny? Who knows, but it’s fun to speculate.

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going broke

With a Boat Like That, You Probably Are: What a great boat. It’s big, it’s fast, it’s got all the bells and whistles. It’s also got to be crazy expensive to own and operate, so we don’t have any trouble believing that the name is accurate.

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lots of names

Running Out of Room, Aren’t We?: This guy’s got space for just a handful of new names before he either has to marry the girl or buy a new boat. Marriage might be cheaper, but we’ve never known a serious boater to ignore an excuse to buy a new boat.

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titan uranus

What did they name their other ship?: If it were just named Titan, it wouldn’t be noteworthy. If it were just called Uranus, well, it’d be kinda funny. But these folks just named their ship after random astronomic bodies without realizing they made a joke.

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wouldn't it be funny if we died?

So they’re dead, right?: “Titanic II” sank. “No Worries” Sank. “Life is Good” got stuck at low tide. We’re pretty sure these folks were probably never seen again. The only real question is how many trips they made on the boat before disaster struck.