Driving With Women is Like…
If you need an explanation after taking a look at the picture below, then you probably should not be driving. You definitely should not be driving with women. If you drive with women frequently, then this image shout hit you like a ton of bricks. In fact, you are probably doubled over laughing. They can be a lot of things in this life, but good passengers are not necessarily one of those things.
Your Intelligence Decreases When You Drive
For instance, I never realized how unintelligent I was when I got behind the wheel of my car. I drive a nice vehicle mind you. It’s not a Ferrari, but it’s not a compact car either either. It is a very nice luxury sedan. I’m familiar with all of the controls, gauges, warning lights, and other necessary parts that one needs to be familiar with when driving.
However, evidently I am quite the dullard when I get behind the wheel. If you have a spouse or significant other, you know exactly what I mean. Wait, what? You thought your girlfriend or spouse really admired your driving skills? You think they are complicit and just sit in awe of how you handle the road, because they are quiet when you drive? They don’t. You are sitting on a ticking time bomb my friend. If you have never gotten into an argument on the road before that means you are either: (more…)
A) on your second date…
A) on your second date…
B) on your honeymoon.
I say this as a warning my friend, because it’s coming.
She is Going to Get the Better of You
One day, that cute special person that means the world to you (the one sitting in the passenger seat all feminine and sexy), is going to cause something to rise up inside of you while you drive. Something akin to the type of thing they script Dateline stories or Investigation Discovery shows around. Something sinister.
And typically, it will happen when you least expect it. The trigger will be very subtle, but your reaction will be immediate. All she has to do is utter a few words like
“why are you going this way?!” OR “You need to be in the other lane.”
It’s phrases like these that create the beginnings of divorce court. Those words drive us guys right up a wall! Sure, at the end makes light of these situations, but there is a lot of truth there. Plus these moments are not usually as funny in the moment. In fact, you should probably go ahead and sign up for couples counseling as a preemptive measure.
Welcome to the Steering Wheel Club Buddy
You should smile though, really. You are in good company. The popular website Admiral conducted a survey of the top 9 things that really drives us nuts when we are behind the wheel. The results are not that surprising. Things that really tend to push us over the edge are things like passengers shouting at other people on the road, or changing our radio stations without asking first. Other things that made the list were giving unsolicited direction, and giving us a critical analysis of our driving… while we are driving! The survey was conducted for both men and women, and 33% of both genders admitted they had gotten into a knockdown drag out fight in the car due to constant jabs from their passenger. Furthermore, 15% of those situations escalated to the point that the driver actually had to kick the other person out of the vehicle.
Well that might be a bit extreme for you, consider the survey conducted by telegraph that found 43% of British motorists rating their spouse as the absolute most annoying passenger they have to regularly drive with. Contrast this with the number of people who chose their sibling to be the most annoying passenger. That number checks out at 11%. That’s pretty striking considering the fact that when siblings were younger they would probably rate each other at the top of this list. However, as we age, we become friends, and our spouses and significant others become our driving nemesis it would seem. At least of you are British.
The US Department of Transportation Recommends What?
Never fear though, the US Department of Transportation has your back. They published a guide that contains 14 tips to keep you calm while you drive. The bad news is they involve phrases like “think of the other person as a human” (really?), put pictures of your family on your dashboard to reminds you of what is really important (umm, okay), and employ breathing tactics to help keep you calm(10-4 buddy).
The long and short of the matter is this. As long as men will be driving, women will be driving from the passenger side. You just have to deal with it, because you certainly can’t get around it. So, with that in mind, see below and get your chuckle for the day. If you want to play it for your spouse or girlfriend, I would wait until they are in a good mood, like right after your mother-in-law leaves your house after staying unexpectedly for three weeks. That would probably work best.